Food is such a big part of my life. It is an outlet. I live to prepare, consume, and marvel. I cook whenever I have the opportunity because it triggers a release for me, even if only temporary. I believe that food has wonderful powers to evoke emotions and even memories, no matter how complex or simple a meal may be. I was snacking today on some strawberries, and as I watched the juices drip from the slices, I was lost in childhood memories. Just like a child, I suddenly felt compelled to play with my food, and thus a delicious mess was born.
“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”– Virginia Woolf
I refuse to succumb to the depressing black cloud that has followed me the past few days. All I’ve done is cry and be mopey, and I’m done with that. It isn’t worth it. I will be strong for myself because I should be my #1 priority, not anyone else. I will be the best person I can be, and those that have brought me down will eventually be paid a visit by karma.
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.” –Buddha
This thought has been in the back of my head for the past few weeks – the difference between living and existing. I am the only one holding myself back from really living. I don’t know what I’m so afraid of.
Perhaps I will start including quotes with my posts. It’s something I’ve seen done with a few other blogs, and I really enjoy reading quotes that really strike me. Let’s give it a try…
”I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.” –Frida Kahlo
I swear probably once or twice a year I put together little mixes of songs that are either currently stuck on repeat in my head or are currently motivating/inspiring me. I got on one of those kicks tonight, and instead of putting the mix onto a cd (which I still may do), I put it straight into the pages of my journal.
Yes, these pages are a mess…pretty similar to how I felt this week. Oh Valentine’s Day, the holiday I have always hated, whether I have been with someone or not. This year though, my real valentines were my parents. I found the card and two bags of M&Ms in my suitcase before heading back to school. Somehow they must’ve known I’d be playing the mopey girly-girl gorging herself on the chocolates at her bedside and gagging at every sappy facebook status on her newsfeed. Talk about my relationship? No, thank you. I don’t even know where to go with that one. The flowers are from him though…sweet..and a colorful (although bulky) addition to my journal. Hopefully better journal pages are just around the corner. I’m going to need it.